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2. If you are single, there will be a family tribunal set up to find out exactly why you are single
What’s a young healthy girl like you doing with no boyfriend? Are there no… dances you could go to? I suppose you’d all be heading to Coppers. *judgmental muttering*
Monday 25 November, 2024
Monday 25 November, 2024
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10 things guaranteed to happen at every Irish family gathering
1. First things first, someone will get inappropriately sloshed
Taxi for Aunty Josie. She’s had too much sherry.
2. If you are single, there will be a family tribunal set up to find out exactly why you are single
3. You will be hounded by children to go out and play football with them
*half-heartedly tackles a seven-year-old*
“Ah lads, I’m bet now. Going to go back inside.”
4. Everyone will play ‘pass the parcel’ with whatever baby is in attendance
*makes funny faces at baby for 20 minutes, passes him/her onto next aunty*
5. As the day wears on, a child will be accused of being a “bit cross”
6. A group of uncles will quietly retreat to another room to watch whatever GAA match is on the telly
Every so often, you’ll hear some roars of “Come on!” from the other room.
7. You will be force fed a slice of apple tart/fruit cake and have 13 cups of tea
“Ah go on, you’ll have a bit of tart. Ah go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on… ”
8. There’ll be an in-depth discussion about Your Man Murphy who recently died
Among the topics that will be discussed are…
This will last at least two hours.
9. A family story nobody has ever previously heard will be unearthed
Usually told by one of the older relatives who has nothing to lose.
“My father used to sell eggs to Michael Collins.”
EM, PARDON?
10. The whole family will be forced to take 124 photos together
“That one didn’t take. CAN SOMEBODY SHOW ME HOW TO USE THIS PHONE?”
And at the end you’ll end up with a beautiful family portrait…
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Craic family gathering we are family